Community
Good Grief: Life After Loss, Part 3
Losing Our Furry Friends
The conclusion of my “Good Grief” series seemed ideal in this issue featuring pets and their people. Paris Hilton lost her beloved chihuahua this year. In a farewell tribute on Instagram, the socialite wrote, “In 23 amazing years, she brought endless love, loyalty, and unforgettable moments to my life.”
Some may not understand — eye rolls may ensue — but fellow pet people know all too well that losing a companion animal is just as heartbreaking as losing a human loved one.
“The pain I feel right now is indescribable,” Hilton posted.
Yet our cultural playbook is devoid of any protocols for those mourning pets. There are no pet obituaries, no official rituals or religious ceremonies to support us through the loss of a fur baby. When such perfectly normal and deep emotions can be considered a mere overreaction by some people in our own tribe, one could argue that losing a pet is even more difficult.
The ultimate interspecies bond
Though domestic companions can be scale or feather-covered too, I spoke to the bereaved owners of the furry variety.
Thousands of years of evolution have led to dogs morphing from the wild wolves they once were into man’s best friend, able to read our emotions and willing to sit, bark, roll over and play dead on command – all to please us. If you’re not a pet owner yourself, you’re sure to have friends with pets.
Max, tennis ball chaser extraordinaire
Long before Matt and Faith Harding had children, they had their dogs, Jazzy and Max, who were part of their lives for over 11 years. Losing them was hard.
“We lost Max and Jazzy within a year of each other. We had to put Jazzy down because she was older and suffering. It was the right thing to do. What made it more difficult with Max was that it was so unexpected,” Matt said.
The Hardings had been treating Max, who suffered from seizures common to Belgian Malinois. They were able to keep the seizures under control for years.
What makes a grown man cry
It was a week like any other. Faith had gone out of town. The kids and Max were left in Matt’s care. Max chased tennis balls in the backyard. There were no warning signs that something was about to go terribly wrong.
Matt found Max in his kennel when he came home one evening. It looked as though he’d had a seizure — like those he’d recovered from many times before. Matt rinsed him off and brought him back inside.
When Matt came downstairs after putting his daughter down for a nap, Max drew his last couple of breaths and passed away. “He waited for me to come back,” Matt said.
Having to call Faith to share the sad news while she was traveling was heartbreaking. “After the initial shock and plenty of tears, you’re stuck with trying to figure out what to do next,” Matt said.
With their baby on one arm and their wailing toddler holding his hand, Matt walked the kids over to the neighbors’ house. The only thing he could utter was, “Please watch them.” Seeing his tear-streaked face, his neighbor took the children without hesitation.
“I had to text her and let her know what was happening. I could not even get words out of my mouth. They were a huge help and very sympathetic to what was happening,” Matt shared.
Maximize the memories
What helped the Hardings most was looking at pictures and reminiscing about their “incredible dog,” Max.
“He loved people. Plenty of people reached out to tell me some of their favorite memories with him and I couldn’t help but smile and laugh at how he left an impression on so many,” Matt said.
Conversely, Matt viewed the act of putting away the dog beds, bowls and toys as an admission that Max was now just a memory. “I couldn’t bring myself to do it,” Matt confided.
“The loss of Max is still hard to think about. Faith and I budget. We have a line item for Max. We were doing the budget a couple of nights ago and couldn’t bring ourselves to remove him as a line item,” Matt said. “Thank you for letting me share our story.”
Triple grief
Before Sandra Hutto and her siblings could spread their parents’ ashes, she was faced with the sudden death of her 11-year-old Doberman, Rio.
Three losses in rapid succession were a hard knock-back for Hutto. She is grateful for supportive friends and being able to process her grief with the help of her husband Mark, a psychiatrist.
According to Hutto, sharing stories about her parents was as helpful in dealing with her loss as it was funny. “There were things I didn’t know. It was fascinating,” she said. “Family stories are important. Apparently, my mother was kind of a floozy,” she laughed.
Her aunt had shared about her mother misleading a boy to spend a day at the lake. When he asked her out, she claimed to have gotten a headache from all the sun. But later, she called another boy about going to a movie.
Hutto advised, “You have shared stories and individual stories. You can let that isolate you or bring you closer. You could say, “That wasn’t my experience, I’m shutting it out,” but it lets you know more about your parents. They have stories from before you were born.”
Dad and the Doberman Pinscher
Before her father’s passing, Hutto and her husband took her dad on a road trip to Wyoming, along with Rio, in their 1993 Bluebird Wanderlodge to visit her sister. Unsure how her father would take to such a big dog, she was pleased when they bonded.
“He fell in love with her. Rio would get up in the middle of the night to lay down next to him. I joked with dad, “You know daddy, we do keep the dog.””
After he died, people said, “That trip was great for him. He never stopped talking about how much fun he had.” That was heartwarming,” Hutto said.
She danced on the sand
An American Kennel Club purebred dog, Rio’s registered name is, She Dances on the Sand, after the Duran Duran song.
Bred in Germany to be the intimidating protectors of tax collectors, Dobermans are strong, intelligent dogs, able to attack on command. Rio didn’t exactly fit the bill. Terrified of a neighborhood Yorkie, she’d watch him as she cowered behind Hutto.
Her tail was docked but she had natural, floppy ears. She wasn’t steely-looking, but she did have a big bark. “Mostly she would try to convince people that she was neglected. She was a drama queen; such a good, funny dog,” Hutto said.
Déjà vu
Rio passed almost exactly the same way their previous Doberman, Jet had. (Jet was named after the Paul McCartney and Wings song.) Though Rio had a longer life, Hutto expressed the common sentiment among pet-owners: it’s never long enough.
Rio had received a clean bill of health and a rabies shot that day. By the evening, she was restless and wouldn’t settle in her bed. Mark had gone out.
“She got up and started walking around. She walked into our dining room, went around the table, her back feet collapsed from under her. She struggled to get up. She howled a couple of times and she was gone,” Hutto said.
Hutto believes cardiac arrhythmia killed both Jet and Rio. Heart issues are common in Dobermans, partly because of breeding and because they’re deep-chested dogs.
“Not again!” Hutto remembers shrieking as she witnessed Rio’s passing. Jet had passed away in the same manner, but she was with Mark. The swift but horrible departure allows for the only consolation, “at least she didn’t suffer.”
A Dobie’s departure
After the ordeal of burying 70-pound Jet in the rain, the Huttos decided to have Rio cremated. They were pleased with Deceased Pet Care, Inc. in Chamblee.
“They were kind, empathetic and respectful. They knew we were in pain. They took good care of her, made a point to tell us that they cremate each dog individually, and gave us her paw print in clay,” Hutto recounted.
Walk alone
“Peachtree Forest is the neighborhood to live in if you want to come back as a dog. People here love their dogs. They’ll greet your dog — and then they’ll say hi to you,” Hutto chuckled. When neighbors learned about Rio’s passing, some sent sympathy cards.
Hutto was almost thankful for a sprained knee shielding her for a while from the inevitable moment she takes her first walk alone and people will ask, “Where’s Rio?”
“I’ll probably bawl in the street,” she predicted.
Able to better prepare for losing her parents, Hutto remarked that her grief journey is different for Rio because it was so sudden. “It was a shock and harder in some ways. It’s important to talk about it so people see you can get through it,” she said.
When they’re ready, the Huttos plan to get another Doberman. “I’m going to name her Roxanne. You’re not going to be able to help yourself when you call her. You’re going to have to do the song,” she said.
Paw prints on our hearts
Pets are not “just animals,” as some may be tempted to say when we lose them. For those who form strong bonds with our four-legged friends, they become part of our favorite routines, our protégés, our sweetest companions, delighting us daily with joy and unconditional affection; they become family.
If the emotional connections we can form with pets are virtually indistinguishable from those we form with people, it stands to reason that pet bereavement can be on par with the grief we experience for our cherished, human loved ones. Let’s remember to be kind to those grieving the loss of their pets.
The Peachtree Corners Business Association (PCBA) donated a check for $3,500 to the Georgia Alliance for Breast Cancer at their October Business After Hours event. The organization was selected by the PCBA Community Outreach Committee and board, who are dedicated to identifying and selecting charities whose mission aligns with supporting the community.
Georgia Alliance for Breast Cancer — formerly It’s the Journey — is a registered 501c3 non-profit that supports Georgia’s breast cancer community by raising funds for breast health and breast cancer programs throughout the state.
Since 2002, the organization’s Georgia 2-Day Walk for Breast Cancer has raised over $19 million to fund 554 grants that provide breast cancer education, screening, early detection, support services and continuing care for Georgians. Their mission is to engage with Georgia’s breast cancer community to increase access to care and reduce disparities in cancer outcomes.
“Since [our] donations are made possible through our members and sponsorships, we wanted to award this check at our recent PCBA Business After Hours Speaker’s event, allowing our members the opportunity to celebrate with us and learn how this organization supports our community” said Lisa Proctor, PCBA president. “This check represents the first of three charities we raised money for at our annual charity event, Tailgates and Touchdowns, in August of this year. We will be awarding a check to the Neighborhood Cooperative Ministries in November and Spectrum Autism Support Group in December.”
Supporting the community
“We are so proud of our continued commitment to supporting our community,” Proctor continued. “The PCBA has donated over $162,000 to local deserving charities and awarded 19 scholarships to outstanding graduating high school seniors in our metro Atlanta community since the inception of our community outreach program in 2013.”
Funds for the PCBA Community Outreach program are raised throughout the year from PCBA memberships, sponsorships and an annual charity event. Donations and scholarships are awarded during monthly events so that members have the opportunity to learn more about the selected organizations.
For more information about the Peachtree Corners Business Association, visit peachtreecornersba.com.
Although Debbie Mason, the first First Lady of Peachtree Corners passed away in January 2023 just shy of her 72nd birthday, she left a lasting legacy on the community.
Her obituary summed up her attributes beautifully.
“If Debbie Mason believed in a cause, she could be counted on to work toward it tirelessly. Debbie was known to her family as a full-time mom, part-time Wonder Woman and occasional miracle worker. To her friends and community, she was a professional volunteer, fearless leader and perpetual truthteller.
Before starting her family, she worked as a legal secretary, where she began honing her exceptional organizational skills and trademark charisma, which made her the most formidable fundraiser. PTSA president, Scout den leader, drama club mom, sports team mom, volunteer organizer, teen-driving advocate, recycling and beautification champion — whatever her kids were involved in or called to her heart, she made it a priority.
A consummate ‘mover and shaker,’ there was little in her sphere of influence that didn’t receive a bit of ‘the Debbie Mason touch.’ She and Mike were founders of the Fox Hill Homeowner’s Association, where she worked to build community on the street she called home for 36 years. Hanging holiday decorations, throwing her annual Halloween party and even going door-to-door gathering signatures to have sewers installed in the neighborhood, Debbie spent so much of her time and energy in service of others.”
A loving memorial
At a memorial service in her honor, several members of the community stood around brainstorming a way to truly respect the impact she had on those around her.
“There were a group of us that just kept talking to each other and saying, what else can we do?” said Lynette Howard. “Debbie inspired us. She did so many things for us, and she gave up great things to the city. And the city was something that she just … it was her pride and joy, and she wanted to make sure that everybody was embraced and hugged in this city.”
A public garden in Debbie Mason’s name was born from that discussion. And a little less than two years later, a dedication was held on Saturday, October 24 to commemorate the Debbie Mason Memorial Garden.
Her obituary went on to include her love of gardening and the outdoors.
“To nurture was her nature; she loved to look after her home and garden. Visitors often commented on how warm and welcoming the house made them feel and how beautifully decorated it was. She was an artist, viewing the backyard garden as her canvas and the flowers, plants and pots as her paints. Working in the garden restored her soul; it was her special place. She was brilliant, an independent thinker, honest, direct and utterly unique. There will never be another one like her.”
A legacy that will live on
As in life, her kindness, dedication and joy will live on.
“With the opening of this garden today, she will leave an imprint that will be enjoyed by Peachtree Corners citizens for generations to come,” said Dave Huffman during the ceremony.
Debbie inspired those around her to make a positive impact on the city, as seen in the garden project. The Debbie Mason Memorial Garden Committee: Bob Ballagh, Pat Bruschini, Lynette Howard, Dave Huffman, Sarah Roberts, Gay Shook and Robyn Unger worked together to answer questions, prioritize goals and honor Debbie’s legacy.
To ensure the garden design and features aligned with Debbie’s passions and the community’s input, the committee thought about things the garden shouldn’t be: hectic, feeling noisy, unkempt, sad, forgotten, without a purpose, ostentatious, gaudy, overdone, devoid of interactive things.
“Did we accomplish it?” Howard asked the crowd during the ceremony.
The thunderous applause proved that Debbie would have approved.
Not long after the incorporation of Peachtree Corners in 2012, city leaders envisioned an arts council that would ensure local arts and culture were given necessary attention. The Peachtree Corners Arts Council, now a 501(c)(3) nonprofit, was established in 2016 to bring that vision to life by creating an Arts & Culture Master Plan and Public Art Initiative program for the city.
The council facilitates public art projects, such as a soon-to-be-completed mural on Peachtree Corners Circle by artist Jonathan Bidwell. With another major endeavor, the independently funded Debbie Mason Memorial Garden, also nearing completion, Peachtree Corners Magazine caught up with the organization — now called Peachtree Corners Arts Inc. (PTC Arts) — to learn more about the projects as well as the future of arts and culture in our city.
Debbie Mason Memorial Garden
The Debbie Mason Memorial Garden is an aesthetic and contemplative garden space nestled in an area of the Peachtree Corners Botanical Garden near Town Center. A group of Peachtree Corners residents, with a shared love for the city’s first first lady and an appreciation for all that she has done for the city, formed the Debbie Mason Memorial Committee (DMMC) to raise funds to build the oasis that will delight with flowering color each season.
The goal of the DMMC is to preserve Mason’s memory by transforming a space that will offer Peachtree Corners residents a quiet place to reflect, connect and rejuvenate among vibrant colored seasonal plantings and mosaic tiled artwork, according to the PTC Arts website.
Although the Debbie Mason Memorial Garden falls under the umbrella of PTC Arts Inc., it had its own committee in charge of design and fundraising goals.
“When they started getting going, because they were creating an artistic kind of installation in the city and were going to raise the funds for it, they worked with our council for ideas and input on the plan that they ultimately came up with,” said Marcia Catterall, a member of PTC Arts. “They really ran independently with that. Primarily, they used us as the nonprofit vehicle to raise the funds.”
Independent of PTC Arts, DMMC created all of its own publicity and had a committee tasked with handling all of the fundraising.
Building a master plan
Although the objective of PTC Arts Inc. is simple, the execution can be complicated.
“We had our hands in numerous things,” said Catterall. “We’ve created the city’s arts and culture master plan. We created a public art initiative. Our goal was to think about all of the ways that arts and cultural activities could impact the city and then to help facilitate the creation and the installation of arts and culture in the city.”
The initiative, along with the master plan, took up the first several years of the council’s efforts. The master plan was formalized and officially adopted in 2018.
According to city records, “The resolution requires developers to meet with the Peachtree Corners Arts Council to discuss possibilities for public art on their property. Developers would also be asked to voluntarily set aside one percent of their project costs for public art, either by including public art on their site or contributing money to a public art fund administered by the city.”
“This Public Art Initiative and Vision Map is intended to help city officials, developers and the community at large visualize and implement the city’s public art future. It outlines a vision for public art, offers an inventory of opportunities for public art throughout the city and provides background on the types of projects that should be encouraged and prioritized,” the records continued.
Early efforts of the council included designing activities for the Town Green and facilitating the use of public spaces for a variety of arts and cultural activities.
“One of the things that we helped with initially was designing some of the activities and talking about how to host activities on the Town Green,” said Catterall. “Now that’s all handled separately by the city, but we were sort of the sounding board and created a lot of the ideas and the thoughts about how Town Green was to be used.”
The mural project and what’s ahead
The first big art installation project initiated from beginning to end by the council is a mural on the retaining wall at Peachtree Corners Circle.
“That’s going to be our first big project that we’ve started — soup to nuts — and have run with completely on our own,” said Catterall.
Jonathan Bidwell, a well-known artist out of Asheville, North Carolina is creating the mural, having designed several others in the past.
“He designed, for example, the playful foxes on the Social Fox Brewing Company in downtown Norcross,” she said. “He’ll be covering the big, long retaining wall that will border part of the Botanical Garden Walk around the Town Center area. And it will actually be near the Debbie Mason Memorial Garden.”
Funding for the mural project was covered partly through business donations.
“Part of our arts and culture master plan is to ask businesses, when they either develop or open up a new business, to donate 1% of their project value towards public art on their property or to give that to us,” Catterall said. “So, this is being funded mostly through the donation from QuickTrip’s new development.”
Since the company didn’t have a particular art installation in mind for its property, it allowed the money to go toward an effort elsewhere in the city.
The mural’s background colors were scheduled to be painted by the end of September with the remaining details to be completed by late October, in time for the ribbon cutting for the Debbie Mason Garden. That event is set for 11 a.m. on October 26.
For more information about Peachtree Corners Arts Inc., the mural or the Debbie Mason Memorial Garden, visit ptcarts.org.
You can read this article in the October/November issue of Peachtree Corners Magazine.
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