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Good Grief: Life After Loss, Part 3
Losing Our Furry Friends
The conclusion of my “Good Grief” series seemed ideal in this issue featuring pets and their people. Paris Hilton lost her beloved chihuahua this year. In a farewell tribute on Instagram, the socialite wrote, “In 23 amazing years, she brought endless love, loyalty, and unforgettable moments to my life.”
Some may not understand — eye rolls may ensue — but fellow pet people know all too well that losing a companion animal is just as heartbreaking as losing a human loved one.
“The pain I feel right now is indescribable,” Hilton posted.
Yet our cultural playbook is devoid of any protocols for those mourning pets. There are no pet obituaries, no official rituals or religious ceremonies to support us through the loss of a fur baby. When such perfectly normal and deep emotions can be considered a mere overreaction by some people in our own tribe, one could argue that losing a pet is even more difficult.
The ultimate interspecies bond
Though domestic companions can be scale or feather-covered too, I spoke to the bereaved owners of the furry variety.
Thousands of years of evolution have led to dogs morphing from the wild wolves they once were into man’s best friend, able to read our emotions and willing to sit, bark, roll over and play dead on command – all to please us. If you’re not a pet owner yourself, you’re sure to have friends with pets.
Max, tennis ball chaser extraordinaire
Long before Matt and Faith Harding had children, they had their dogs, Jazzy and Max, who were part of their lives for over 11 years. Losing them was hard.
“We lost Max and Jazzy within a year of each other. We had to put Jazzy down because she was older and suffering. It was the right thing to do. What made it more difficult with Max was that it was so unexpected,” Matt said.
The Hardings had been treating Max, who suffered from seizures common to Belgian Malinois. They were able to keep the seizures under control for years.
What makes a grown man cry
It was a week like any other. Faith had gone out of town. The kids and Max were left in Matt’s care. Max chased tennis balls in the backyard. There were no warning signs that something was about to go terribly wrong.
Matt found Max in his kennel when he came home one evening. It looked as though he’d had a seizure — like those he’d recovered from many times before. Matt rinsed him off and brought him back inside.
When Matt came downstairs after putting his daughter down for a nap, Max drew his last couple of breaths and passed away. “He waited for me to come back,” Matt said.
Having to call Faith to share the sad news while she was traveling was heartbreaking. “After the initial shock and plenty of tears, you’re stuck with trying to figure out what to do next,” Matt said.
With their baby on one arm and their wailing toddler holding his hand, Matt walked the kids over to the neighbors’ house. The only thing he could utter was, “Please watch them.” Seeing his tear-streaked face, his neighbor took the children without hesitation.
“I had to text her and let her know what was happening. I could not even get words out of my mouth. They were a huge help and very sympathetic to what was happening,” Matt shared.
Maximize the memories
What helped the Hardings most was looking at pictures and reminiscing about their “incredible dog,” Max.
“He loved people. Plenty of people reached out to tell me some of their favorite memories with him and I couldn’t help but smile and laugh at how he left an impression on so many,” Matt said.
Conversely, Matt viewed the act of putting away the dog beds, bowls and toys as an admission that Max was now just a memory. “I couldn’t bring myself to do it,” Matt confided.
“The loss of Max is still hard to think about. Faith and I budget. We have a line item for Max. We were doing the budget a couple of nights ago and couldn’t bring ourselves to remove him as a line item,” Matt said. “Thank you for letting me share our story.”
Triple grief
Before Sandra Hutto and her siblings could spread their parents’ ashes, she was faced with the sudden death of her 11-year-old Doberman, Rio.
Three losses in rapid succession were a hard knock-back for Hutto. She is grateful for supportive friends and being able to process her grief with the help of her husband Mark, a psychiatrist.
According to Hutto, sharing stories about her parents was as helpful in dealing with her loss as it was funny. “There were things I didn’t know. It was fascinating,” she said. “Family stories are important. Apparently, my mother was kind of a floozy,” she laughed.
Her aunt had shared about her mother misleading a boy to spend a day at the lake. When he asked her out, she claimed to have gotten a headache from all the sun. But later, she called another boy about going to a movie.
Hutto advised, “You have shared stories and individual stories. You can let that isolate you or bring you closer. You could say, “That wasn’t my experience, I’m shutting it out,” but it lets you know more about your parents. They have stories from before you were born.”
Dad and the Doberman Pinscher
Before her father’s passing, Hutto and her husband took her dad on a road trip to Wyoming, along with Rio, in their 1993 Bluebird Wanderlodge to visit her sister. Unsure how her father would take to such a big dog, she was pleased when they bonded.
“He fell in love with her. Rio would get up in the middle of the night to lay down next to him. I joked with dad, “You know daddy, we do keep the dog.””
After he died, people said, “That trip was great for him. He never stopped talking about how much fun he had.” That was heartwarming,” Hutto said.
She danced on the sand
An American Kennel Club purebred dog, Rio’s registered name is, She Dances on the Sand, after the Duran Duran song.
Bred in Germany to be the intimidating protectors of tax collectors, Dobermans are strong, intelligent dogs, able to attack on command. Rio didn’t exactly fit the bill. Terrified of a neighborhood Yorkie, she’d watch him as she cowered behind Hutto.
Her tail was docked but she had natural, floppy ears. She wasn’t steely-looking, but she did have a big bark. “Mostly she would try to convince people that she was neglected. She was a drama queen; such a good, funny dog,” Hutto said.
Déjà vu
Rio passed almost exactly the same way their previous Doberman, Jet had. (Jet was named after the Paul McCartney and Wings song.) Though Rio had a longer life, Hutto expressed the common sentiment among pet-owners: it’s never long enough.
Rio had received a clean bill of health and a rabies shot that day. By the evening, she was restless and wouldn’t settle in her bed. Mark had gone out.
“She got up and started walking around. She walked into our dining room, went around the table, her back feet collapsed from under her. She struggled to get up. She howled a couple of times and she was gone,” Hutto said.
Hutto believes cardiac arrhythmia killed both Jet and Rio. Heart issues are common in Dobermans, partly because of breeding and because they’re deep-chested dogs.
“Not again!” Hutto remembers shrieking as she witnessed Rio’s passing. Jet had passed away in the same manner, but she was with Mark. The swift but horrible departure allows for the only consolation, “at least she didn’t suffer.”
A Dobie’s departure
After the ordeal of burying 70-pound Jet in the rain, the Huttos decided to have Rio cremated. They were pleased with Deceased Pet Care, Inc. in Chamblee.
“They were kind, empathetic and respectful. They knew we were in pain. They took good care of her, made a point to tell us that they cremate each dog individually, and gave us her paw print in clay,” Hutto recounted.
Walk alone
“Peachtree Forest is the neighborhood to live in if you want to come back as a dog. People here love their dogs. They’ll greet your dog — and then they’ll say hi to you,” Hutto chuckled. When neighbors learned about Rio’s passing, some sent sympathy cards.
Hutto was almost thankful for a sprained knee shielding her for a while from the inevitable moment she takes her first walk alone and people will ask, “Where’s Rio?”
“I’ll probably bawl in the street,” she predicted.
Able to better prepare for losing her parents, Hutto remarked that her grief journey is different for Rio because it was so sudden. “It was a shock and harder in some ways. It’s important to talk about it so people see you can get through it,” she said.
When they’re ready, the Huttos plan to get another Doberman. “I’m going to name her Roxanne. You’re not going to be able to help yourself when you call her. You’re going to have to do the song,” she said.
Paw prints on our hearts
Pets are not “just animals,” as some may be tempted to say when we lose them. For those who form strong bonds with our four-legged friends, they become part of our favorite routines, our protégés, our sweetest companions, delighting us daily with joy and unconditional affection; they become family.
If the emotional connections we can form with pets are virtually indistinguishable from those we form with people, it stands to reason that pet bereavement can be on par with the grief we experience for our cherished, human loved ones. Let’s remember to be kind to those grieving the loss of their pets.
Peachtree Corners resident, Alex Everett traveled to Italy this past September — not as a tourist but as an athlete. The 28-year-old accountant and liver transplant survivor, served as goalkeeper on Team USA as they competed in the first-ever Transplant Football World Cup.
The event — part of the larger World Transplant Games — promoted giving the gift of life through a week of connection and sportsmanship, showcasing how people with organ transplants can live a normal, active life.
“I first heard about the US Transplant World Cup team a few years ago through a social media post,” said Alex. “The first Transplant World Cup was originally going to take place in 2022 but was postponed due to the uncertainty around international travel and COVID. Fast forward to 2024 and Team USA had an interest meeting via Zoom to discuss details about the tournament and fielding the American team.”
Team USA
All together, they had 14 people from around the United States (hailing from Georgia, Ohio, New York, New Jersey, California and Hawaii) join the team, which traveled to Cervia, Italy in September to compete.
“There were 10 other countries that were represented in the World Cup, and we were split into two groups, one of five and one of six,” Alex explained.
“It was an incredible experience representing the US at an international level, competing against other transplant recipients from around the world. We not only were able to share our passion for soccer but also our stories of transplantation and what obstacles we had to overcome to be where we were.”
Coming together to compete
Team USA played well in their matches but placed 9th out of the 11 teams. Because players came from all over the country to join the team, they hadn’t had the opportunity to practice together — or even meet in person — before the tournament started.
“The first time we met face to face and kick a ball as a team was our first game against France,” said Alex. “While that outcome was not what we wanted, we progressively got better as the tournament went on. Eventually ending with a win in a penalty shoot-out against Wales and a normal time win in our final game against Northern Ireland.”
“It was an incredible experience, and I would highly recommend anyone who’s involved with transplantation to reach out and get involved with not only Team USA but also with the Transplant Games of America (TGA), which is an Olympic-style competition for people who have received transplants or living donors,” he added.
Most states in the US have their own TGA team, including one here in Georgia.
World Transplant Games 2025
The next World Transplant Games will be held in Dresden, Germany on August 17-24, 2025.
Over six days, athletes and teams from 60 countries will meet to compete in 17 different sports. The US Team is excited to be part of it again and are currently looking for more players interested in taking part.
Leave a lasting legacy
Alex is also involved with the Peachtree Corners-based organization LifeLink® of Georgia, a division of the LifeLink® Foundation.
Established over 40 years ago, the foundation’s mission is to inspire new organ donor registrations and celebrate those who have decided to save lives as a registered organ, eye or tissue donor. The mission is carried out locally through education programs and community awareness campaigns.
Earlier this year, LifeLink of Georgia launched The Infinity Campaign, a state-wide educational effort aimed at motivating and registering new organ donors. The campaign is represented by the infinity symbol, to demonstrate the lasting impact of organ and tissue donation.
About LifeLink of Georgia
LifeLink of Georgia partners with hospitals to support and guide families as they establish their loved one’s legacy through organ and tissue donation.
They carry out the decisions of registered donors or their families and honor the life of each donor by providing organs and tissue for transplant to as many patients as possible.
In 2023, 457 men, women and children gifted a legacy of life through organ donation with LifeLink of Georgia, yet there are still nearly 3,000 patients in the state awaiting an organ transplant and thousands more that could benefit from tissue transplantation.
“When you become an organ donor, your life story continues through the lives you save, ensuring that your legacy lives on indefinitely,” says Katie Payne, executive director, LifeLink of Georgia. “Life is an invaluable treasure, a lesson we learn anew each day from our donor families. Thanks to their generosity, LifeLink of Georgia saves thousands of lives every year, and we are deeply honored to continue this extraordinary mission.”
The Infinity Campaign
The Infinity Campaign features a series of real stories from registered donors, each telling what inspired them to register and emphasizing the effect this decision has on saving lives. By sharing these stories, LifeLink aims to motivate more people to register as organ, eye and tissue donors and spread the message of hope and life.
“The decision to become a donor was deeply personal. It is an opportunity to give the ultimate gift — the gift of life,” said Adán Bean. “I get to continue to tell the story for others, be a little bit of ink in their pen and help them write what they want to write.”
As part of the launch, LifeLink has created the website mystorycontinues.com, which spotlights stories from donors and recipients and offers innovative tools, including the opportunity to upload a photo to share your support and spread the word on social media about the importance of organ, eye and tissue donation.
Become a donor
Being a donor is an incredible way for individuals to make a difference and have an impact on the lives of others. One organ, eye and tissue donor can potentially save or improve the lives of more than 75 people.
The need for organ and tissue donors is greater now than ever, given the growing numbers of people on transplant wait lists and increasing numbers of people with diabetes and kidney disease.
Currently, there are about 3,000 people in Georgia on the organ transplant list and thousands more on the tissue transplant list.
There are several simple ways to register your decision to be an organ, eye and tissue donor:
- Visit mystorycontinues.com and sign up today.
- Register when renewing or receiving a driver’s license or identification card at the Georgia Department of Driver Services.
- Register when obtaining a hunting or fishing license through the Georgia Department of Natural Resources.
For more about LifeLink of Georgia, visit lifelinkfoundation.org/our-story/#llgeorgia.
New experiences await at this season’s Walk Through Bethlehem
An annual must-see holiday event, Walk Through Bethlehem, presented by Simpsonwood United Methodist Church, will take place over three evenings, December 13–15.
With 1,200 luminaries, Simpsonwood Park is transformed into Bethlehem on the night of Jesus’ birth. After being welcomed by live camels and a census taker, visitors are invited to interact with shopkeepers and witness a live nativity.
Visitors can also enjoy a fire with stories from shepherds, pet live animals and watch as wisemen bring gifts to baby Jesus.
Before your journey ends, enjoy a photo opportunity with a Roman Guard and hot chocolate and cookies.
The details
Walk Through Bethlehem transforms several acres of Simpsonwood Park into Bethlehem Village on the night of Jesus’ birth. After being welcomed by live camels and a census taker, visitors are invited to interact with shopkeepers, witness a live nativity and watch as wisemen bring gifts to baby Jesus.
The special holiday event is presented by Simpsonwood United Methodist Church with the help of more than 300 community volunteers.
What to expect
- 1,200 luminaries welcoming guests to Bethlehem
- Live camels and Roman guards at Bethlehem’s entrance
- Shopkeepers in costume interacting with guests
- Interactive village with more than 12 individual shops
- Animal petting area with donkeys, sheep and more
- Shepherds sharing stories around a fire
- Live nativity with wisemen bringing gifts
- Attendees donating canned goods to Neighborhood Cooperative Ministries
- Attendees enjoying hot chocolate and cookies
Make plans to attend
Dates and hours
- Friday, December 13, from 7 p.m. to 9 p.m.
- Saturday, December 14, from 7 p.m. to 9 p.m.
- Sunday, December 15, 6 p.m. to 8 p.m.
Location: Simpsonwood Park, 4511 Jones Bridge Cir NW, Peachtree Corners, GA 30092
FREE admission; accepting canned food donations for Neighborhood Cooperative Ministries.
For more information, visit simpsonwoodumc.org/walk-through-bethlehem.
The Peachtree Corners Business Association (PCBA) awarded a check for $500 to the United Way of Greater Atlanta (Gwinnett County) at their Business After Hours networking event in November.
The local organization was chosen by PCBA’s Outreach Committee because of their commitment to providing assistance and bettering the lives of children within the community.
United Way of Greater Atlanta
The mission of United Way of Greater Atlanta is to engage and bring together people and resources to drive sustainable and equitable improvements in the well-being of children, families and individuals in local communities.
“Greater Atlanta is one of the most vibrant regions in the country, but the region has significant barriers to realizing its potential in the future because of its continued ranking at the bottom of the list of metro areas in income mobility,” stated Vanessa Roussell, United Way senior director of corporate relations.
“Children born in low-income households have only a 4% chance of getting out of poverty in their lifetime,” she continued. “We at United Way of Greater Atlanta don’t like those odds. Our work is about changing them so that children — regardless of where they’re born — have the chance to realize their potential and build lives that sustain themselves, their families and their communities.
Assessing needs within the county
The organization’s goal is to help every child unlock their full potential, by improving education, healthcare, resources and economic mobility in the communities where they live. Their “every child program” includes every child in Gwinnett.
Based on the 2023 census track for Gwinnett County, 94,308 people living in Gwinnett County are at risk, particularly in and around Sugar Hill/Buford, Duluth, Norcross, Lawrenceville, Lilburn and Snellville. The highest-need residents are located in the I-85 corridor, mainly around Duluth, Norcross and Lilburn.
Giving back to support the community
“The PCBA is proud to donate a check for $500 to United Way of Greater Atlanta (Gwinnett County),” said PCBA President, Lisa Proctor. “Our outreach committee and board are committed to supporting our community, and investing in the well-being of the children in our community aligns with our core principles. We know that our dollars will be targeted to help those at highest risk … We are glad to have the local Gwinnett chapter located right in our community.”
Funds for the PCBA Community Outreach Program are raised throughout the year from PCBA membership, sponsorship and an annual charity event. Donations and scholarships are awarded at their monthly events so that members have the opportunity to learn more about the community organizations and their programs.
Over the past 12 years, the PCBA has awarded 19 scholarships to outstanding graduating high school seniors and donated in excess of $165,500 back into the community.
About Peachtree Corners Business Association
“Where businesses come to grow,” the Peachtree Corners Business Association (PCBA) is a business membership organization that focuses on innovative approaches, programs, shared resources, community outreach and opportunities for member businesses and professionals to connect, develop, grow and prosper.
The PCBA is made up of businesses of all sizes and types who want to expand their reach and grow their business within Peachtree Corners and the greater metro Atlanta area.
For more information visit peachtreecornersba.com.
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Fun for All Ages: The Neighborhood Christmas Train 2024 Experience
Final Restaurants Announced for New Politan Row Food Hall at The Forum
Furkids Wraps Up Successful Year with Open House Event and More
The High Museum to Showcase “Thinking Eye, Seeing Mind”
Final Restaurants Announced for New Politan Row Food Hall at The Forum
The High Museum to Showcase “Thinking Eye, Seeing Mind”
Fun for All Ages: The Neighborhood Christmas Train 2024 Experience
Life in Motion: The Gift of Organ Donation Fuels Active Lives for Recipients
Furkids Wraps Up Successful Year with Open House Event and More
The Dec/Jan Issue of Peachtree Corners Magazine is Out Now
Shaping Peachtree Corners: New Vision for the Central Business District [Podcast]
Take A Walk Back in Time For The Holidays
Light up the Corners [Video]
Capitalist Sage: Business Leadership in Your Community [Podcast]
Cliff Bramble: A Culinary Adventure through Italy
Top 10 Brunch Places in Gwinnett County
A Hunger for Hospitality
THE CORNERS EPISODE 3 – BLAXICAN PART 1
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